I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
