Will you blow on my dice?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
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I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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