I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
