erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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