That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
