Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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