69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
