Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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