i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
