she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
