She is in my trunk
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Everyone says I win the strip club
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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