In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
