I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
