I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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