at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
