So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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