why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
third nipple confirmed
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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