Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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