walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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