Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
