I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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