Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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