How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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