Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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