the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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