he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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