I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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