would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
