I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
