did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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