sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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