Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
