it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
