I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my shit smells like andre
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
