Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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