Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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