If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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