dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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