i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
True strength comes from lack of pants
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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