Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You smell like stripper and shame
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize