If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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