yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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