If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
