is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
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