dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize