I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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