i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I came so hard my ears popped.
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