I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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