i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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