I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
