I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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