I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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