That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
