Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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