Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
